To my Beautiful Pre-Teen Daughter

I see you.  And when I look at you, I see myself.  I see the same emotions clouding your thoughts.  I see the same reactions to life.  I see the same desires to do more, better, higher, faster.  I see kindness, love, faith, grace and Jesus' love.

 I see you.  I see you for who you are and who you want to be.  I see you grasping and reaching; gaining strength and knowledge, expanding your love for the Lord.  I see you maturing before my very eyes.  But young lady, don't be in too big of a hurry to grow up because time won't stop when you want it to.

 I see you.  Growing before my eyes.  I see the beautiful woman you will be, inside and out.  I see the lovely young lady you already are.  I see you and I love you.

 My dearest daughter, I see you.  I see all that lies before you.  The traps, the lies, the hurt.  The beauty, the truth, the joy.  It’s there.  All of it.  And I want you to experience all of it because it will define you and mold you and make you into the  person that God intends you to be.  The mother in me wants to keep all the bad and ugly away, but I know it will find you anyway.  And I know you can rise to the occasion and find your strength through God and fight through it with Him.

It’s ok to cry, to be upset, to be angry.  It’s equally ok to laugh, to feel joy and be happy.  Don’t allow others to give you permission to feel one way or another.  Think for yourself and express your opinions.  But that does not give you permission to be rude and bossy!  Good manners are always in style.

You are a fighter.  I can see that already in our power struggles.  You want to be right.  You need it.  You have a plan and everything needs to come together.  Perfection is divine.  But lovely daughter, there is only One who is perfect and though you were made in His likeness, it is not you.  Plan for excellence but expect less than perfect.  Don’t let the fallout define you.  Deal with the emotions, don’t suppress them.  Don’t let them rule you.  I speak from experience here.  Not just as your mother.

In our struggles of mother and daughter, always remember that I am the mom.  God has grown me into who I am just so that I can BE your mother.  He’s not done with either of us yet.  There will be ups and downs along the way, but sweet daughter, I pray more ups than downs.  I also pray that He will give me clarity, patience and knowledge of how best to nurture you as one of His children and one of mine.

Lord,
Please continue to bless this sweet daughter of mine with your eternal presence.  Fill her with knowledge, patience and peace in this ever changing world.  Grow us together in love and continue to blossom our relationship.  Open our eyes and our hearts and show us your way, your plan and your love and help us to accept it if it is not our own.  And Lord, please limit those power struggles between us, instead, help us to find words to communicate and express our concerns with each other and the world.  In your name I pray.  Amen

 

 

The Oak Tree

 I can see and feel it coming.  The trees are void of their brightly colored fruit and the grass is littered with pieces and fragments of what once lived generously in the trees.  The daylight hours are quickly decreasing and a raw chill fills the air.  The animals are no longer frolicking and singing in the wilderness.  Instead, they are hurriedly foraging and storing up food for the coming winter.  Men dressed like their surroundings take to the woods and lurk for unsuspecting deer. 

The large oak tree that sits alongside the road is currently barren of green life.  Its branches still reach high into the sky yet somewhat lopsided due to the nearby power lines.  Many a small creature has taken refuge here in its neck and arms.  Its long standing is proven by the enormity of its trunk as I stand close and attempt to embrace it.  The bark is rough alongside my cheek and my arms are full yet not long enough for my outstretched fingers to interlock.

I am in awe of such a gift.  It has indeed weathered many storms and many seasons.  Seasons of drought and attrition; seasons of bitter cold and unbearable heat; insect attacks and suffocating exhaust fumes; but the old tree stands tall and proud.  Every wind storm seems to break a few of the weaker limbs, but the tree is still strong.  Every spring it sprouts new life and green leaves even more generous than the previous year, giving more color every fall to the view outside of my windows.

My own exterior is not as tolerant of such seasons of life, nor is my heart.  God has blessed me with strong emotions that tend to surface often.  I am easily wounded and tend to suffer in silence not willing to expose the rawness of the fresh tear on my soul.  Anxiety and fear drive me to pray frequently but my own stubbornness and pride will not allow me to share with others.  I want to spare others of my hurts and sins and not burden them.  I would rather help someone else with their burdens and pray for them. 

But God doesn’t want us to be alone.  He wants us to have a community to share with, which is why He created Eve for Adam.  And that means we need to share all things, not just the easy things, not just the surface topics.   So it is here, that I will share with you, my heart.   I genuinely want to help others and pray for them.  This is how God made me and I am grateful for this.  I also want to be able to be helped and to ask for help.  To know that it’s ok to open my heart to someone and believe that it won’t be betrayed.    This has not always been easy for me, but I have to start somewhere and why not here, in this place, where my heart is open, and I speak in truth?

Like the mighty oak tree outside my window, God is strong, patient, and providing.   He is the constant that I can go to with all things and He WANTS me to.  In this season of my life, I am praying for many things, but mostly for patience.  I know He has a plan for me, but I really want to know what it is and I am not very patient.   What are you praying for?

 

 

 

Lord,

May I be slow to anger and filled with love.  I need help with patience and I cannot do it on my own.  Please fill my heart with patience that I may wait for Your will to be done.  Please fill my heart with understanding that I know how my words and actions affect others.  Help me to follow the example you have set before me.  Amen