The city

I am a small town, country girl.  I love being outside, sitting on my porch swing or walking in the fresh air, enjoying nature.  It is here that I can find quiet and simplicity.  It's where I can sort out the difficult things and reflect on my journey.

A recent trip to New York made me realize just how much I love those things.  While I did a fair share of walking outdoors, it wasn't really quiet. At a minimum, it wasn't the kind of noise that I am familiar with.  There were no birds singing, frogs croaking or crickets chirping.  Instead, there was a constant stream of cars, trucks and busses humming in the background of honking horns, jackhammers, and sirens.  Construction work littered every block it seemed.  Solicitors flooded the sidewalks distributing pamphlets touting the city's tourism.  Pedestrians walked furiously amongst the vehicles to the safety of the sidewalks. 

 

The landscape was also quite different than what I am used to.  Sure, there were small parks fit between buildings here and there, however, most everything was steel or concrete or limestone.  Row upon row of large skyscrapers rose high above the city.  Bright yellow taxis buzzed quickly down the city streets, barely halting for red lights and stopping busses.  An underground network of subways funneled people about the city.  And of course, there were trains, boats and ships fluid in their movement of goods as well as people.  Large stacks of train cars slept near loading docs along the piers of the Hudson River.  Some of them were adorned with graffiti, while others escaped the senseless tagging momentarily.

 

Let's not forget the people.  They were every shape, size, color and ethnicity but they all had one thing in common; their expressions.  Hard.  Brisk.  They were not cheerily taking in the moments and smiling, acknowledging their neighbors.  They were instead, hurriedly walking, stoic in gesture and tuned into their music supplied by their devices, blocking out the noise of the city.  It became obvious that time was essential and even the noise would slow them down.

 

The last day of our trip, we went to the 9/11 memorial.  It was cool and the sky was bright blue with puffy white clouds.  We stood amongst all of the people, waiting for the line to move forward.  There was an older couple behind us.  The wife was in a wheel chair and the husband was careful to help her get to her destination.  It was here, that I heard him say something so simple and yet, so profound.  He was chatting with her about the multitude of people and I heard him say, "You know what is amazing?  God loves all of these people.  All of them.  He does.  He really does.  Isn't that amazing?"

 

It IS amazing!  Here in THIS crowded city, filled with people who were scarred from hate, God is present.  God is abounding in love and continues to find ways to show us.  From the ashes, He has made it possible for people to remember and celebrate life in this beautiful memorial garden.  It is peaceful here.  The rush of the water falling over the walls into the footprints of the buildings, drowns out the noise of the surrounding city.  The mist slowly rises above the reflection pool; mixing with tears of sorrow that flow gently from those who remember and wait to be reunited with their loved ones. 

 

Trees and green grass surround the pools and serve as reminders that life is present in this place.  Growth is possible again.  Beauty can come from tragedy. 

 

Eternal life with our Savior in heaven will be ours one day.  Until then, we can rest assured that God loves us and waits for us to join Him.

 

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whomever believes in Him, should not perish, but have eternal life.   John 3:16

     

How does God continue to amaze you?  Please share your thoughts in the comments.
      

That mom

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who holds up the car line on the second day of school because my youngest is having a meltdown.  The mom who sends her weeping daughter into school to face the day without me.  The mom who escapes before her own meltdown.    The same mom who carries the guilt all day for leaving my baby that way.

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who gets frustrated because book bags and dirty socks litter the living room.  “IF you don’t pick up this stuff now, I am throwing it all away!!”  The mom whose exasperation is ridiculous.  “Why does it take 20 minutes to eat a pop tart?!??”  The mom whose schedule seems to be important to only her.  “Hurry up, I am going to be late!”  The mom who wants to grow strong women who question things that don’t make sense. “Don’t argue with me, just do what I say!”

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who loves to snuggle with arms and legs intertwined.  The same mom who needs the children to “just go outside for a bit while I breathe”.   The mom who likes to have little girl help with dinner.  The same mom who would rather do it herself so that it is done quickly and with less mess.   The mom who loves the thought of going shopping but actually dreads the act of dragging them from store to store while they argue over who got more.

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who encourages them to take their cares to Jesus.  The same mom who wants to know what those cares are so that I can “fix them”.  The mom who sends them to a Christian school to learn about their Savior.  The same mom who wants to be the one to save them from all bad and hurtful things.  The mom who teaches them how to pray.  The same mom who has daily struggles with the same thing.

 

Whatever mom I am, I am their mom.  God put us together for a reason and we fit perfectly.  I trust that God is growing me into the mom I need to be for these beautiful creatures and that the timing is right for all things according to His will.  I don’t always agree with His timing, but that’s just my own growing that needs to occur and my sinful nature getting in the way. 

 

I am blessed to be called their momma and there is absolutely no contradiction there!

 

 

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

Do you have the same contradictions in your home?  Please share them below in the comments.  I would love to hear from you!