To my Beautiful Pre-Teen Daughter

I see you.  And when I look at you, I see myself.  I see the same emotions clouding your thoughts.  I see the same reactions to life.  I see the same desires to do more, better, higher, faster.  I see kindness, love, faith, grace and Jesus' love.

 I see you.  I see you for who you are and who you want to be.  I see you grasping and reaching; gaining strength and knowledge, expanding your love for the Lord.  I see you maturing before my very eyes.  But young lady, don't be in too big of a hurry to grow up because time won't stop when you want it to.

 I see you.  Growing before my eyes.  I see the beautiful woman you will be, inside and out.  I see the lovely young lady you already are.  I see you and I love you.

 My dearest daughter, I see you.  I see all that lies before you.  The traps, the lies, the hurt.  The beauty, the truth, the joy.  It’s there.  All of it.  And I want you to experience all of it because it will define you and mold you and make you into the  person that God intends you to be.  The mother in me wants to keep all the bad and ugly away, but I know it will find you anyway.  And I know you can rise to the occasion and find your strength through God and fight through it with Him.

It’s ok to cry, to be upset, to be angry.  It’s equally ok to laugh, to feel joy and be happy.  Don’t allow others to give you permission to feel one way or another.  Think for yourself and express your opinions.  But that does not give you permission to be rude and bossy!  Good manners are always in style.

You are a fighter.  I can see that already in our power struggles.  You want to be right.  You need it.  You have a plan and everything needs to come together.  Perfection is divine.  But lovely daughter, there is only One who is perfect and though you were made in His likeness, it is not you.  Plan for excellence but expect less than perfect.  Don’t let the fallout define you.  Deal with the emotions, don’t suppress them.  Don’t let them rule you.  I speak from experience here.  Not just as your mother.

In our struggles of mother and daughter, always remember that I am the mom.  God has grown me into who I am just so that I can BE your mother.  He’s not done with either of us yet.  There will be ups and downs along the way, but sweet daughter, I pray more ups than downs.  I also pray that He will give me clarity, patience and knowledge of how best to nurture you as one of His children and one of mine.

Lord,
Please continue to bless this sweet daughter of mine with your eternal presence.  Fill her with knowledge, patience and peace in this ever changing world.  Grow us together in love and continue to blossom our relationship.  Open our eyes and our hearts and show us your way, your plan and your love and help us to accept it if it is not our own.  And Lord, please limit those power struggles between us, instead, help us to find words to communicate and express our concerns with each other and the world.  In your name I pray.  Amen

 

 

That mom

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who holds up the car line on the second day of school because my youngest is having a meltdown.  The mom who sends her weeping daughter into school to face the day without me.  The mom who escapes before her own meltdown.    The same mom who carries the guilt all day for leaving my baby that way.

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who gets frustrated because book bags and dirty socks litter the living room.  “IF you don’t pick up this stuff now, I am throwing it all away!!”  The mom whose exasperation is ridiculous.  “Why does it take 20 minutes to eat a pop tart?!??”  The mom whose schedule seems to be important to only her.  “Hurry up, I am going to be late!”  The mom who wants to grow strong women who question things that don’t make sense. “Don’t argue with me, just do what I say!”

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who loves to snuggle with arms and legs intertwined.  The same mom who needs the children to “just go outside for a bit while I breathe”.   The mom who likes to have little girl help with dinner.  The same mom who would rather do it herself so that it is done quickly and with less mess.   The mom who loves the thought of going shopping but actually dreads the act of dragging them from store to store while they argue over who got more.

 

Yes, I am that mom.  The mom who encourages them to take their cares to Jesus.  The same mom who wants to know what those cares are so that I can “fix them”.  The mom who sends them to a Christian school to learn about their Savior.  The same mom who wants to be the one to save them from all bad and hurtful things.  The mom who teaches them how to pray.  The same mom who has daily struggles with the same thing.

 

Whatever mom I am, I am their mom.  God put us together for a reason and we fit perfectly.  I trust that God is growing me into the mom I need to be for these beautiful creatures and that the timing is right for all things according to His will.  I don’t always agree with His timing, but that’s just my own growing that needs to occur and my sinful nature getting in the way. 

 

I am blessed to be called their momma and there is absolutely no contradiction there!

 

 

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

Do you have the same contradictions in your home?  Please share them below in the comments.  I would love to hear from you!

Growing Pains

The sun is warm, the air cool.  The sky is filled with fluffy white clouds.  My heart is full as I watch the sweet children play games in the soft, green grass.  I sit and watch a while, smiling inside and out thinking that all days should be so beautiful.

Unfortunately, not all days are.  Last night was a tough one for my daughter.  Her first “growing pain” of having to choose between activities because there are not enough hours in the day or days in the week to do all that she wants to do.  She was forced  to pick only one and she was heart broken.  Panic filled her breath and tears filled her eyes.

Trying to console her, I suggested thinking on it for a day and not making a quick decision.  I think she just wanted to get it over with though and NOT think on it at all; not think about the fun she had, the progress she made, the friendships she grew.  She blurted her choice out hastily and retreated to her room, still obviously upset.

 

Photo courtesy of www.coolpicturegallery.com

 

I hated that she was placed in that spot, but it was out of my hands.   I needed her to make the decision instead of me making it for her and choosing incorrectly.  The schedules were set for both activities and they conflicted with each other.  I am sure this is the first of many such tough decisions she will face but I feel confident that she is growing equipped with the right tools to make them.

At bedtime, I prayed with her.  She was still a bit sad.  I said my own prayer while she recited hers. 

Lord, continue to grow this child in Your grace.  Guide her with the Spirit that she may come to You with concerns and worries and leave them at Your feet.   Help her to grow in confidence to make good decisions and steer her toward Your will and Your plan which was designed before she was even born. Spare her tender heart of pain from this decision.  And Lord, help me to allow her to grow up as well.  It’s hard to let go as I watch her beauty and talents flourish.  And it’s selfish of me to keep her wrapped in my arms, knowing that she is only going to leave the nest one day to become a lovely woman.  Lord, please grow us up together.  Amen.

 

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose.  Jeremiah 1:5

 

Have you had a similar situation with your growing child?  Are you ready to allow them to grow up?  Please share your experiences with me in the comments.