Recently, I have been thinking about the times I was in search of answers and someone who could help me understand. The need to have adult conversations about anything from life, faith, kids, my husband and other big topics sometimes becomes pressing. It is more difficult when your voice is small and conversation is not easy with others, but allowing others into my life is so important. It is hard for me to be vulnerable around others even though it is easy for me to cry. Being in a book club, support group, and even going out with friends has allowed me to see we are not all so different in experiences. It has shown me to see how others react to those experiences and even learn from them too.
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In January a woman celebrated 40 years of sobriety with a group of her peers. A community of people who share an experience with alcohol addiction. Without joining the group, maybe her long lived life would not be the same and the last 40 years would be very different. However, she knew that she could not do it on her own and that she needed the support of others. So, one day, she joined a group of strangers, and stood up in front of them and admitted her weakness for alcohol. She asked for support, advice and help. I cannot even imagine the strength it took to do that.
For 40 years, she has been a part of a family much bigger than herself. With these people, she can share, build friendships, celebrate, and when times become difficult, she can lean on. She was allowed and encouraged to show her weakness and example of how to stay sober. By doing so, she came together with people that supported and upheld her. Her time left on this earth is short, but that night she celebrated being sober. She celebrated her brave decision to reveal her weakness that helped to pave the way to sobriety.
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The other day, there was a bold advertisement in a social media platform for adult conversation and interaction. When I read it, I instantly panicked. Not for me, but for the young lady who posted it. I was afraid that her plea for community would be looked upon as weakness and youthful recklessness. And then I was afraid for her socially. I assume most people think like I do, which I know is wrong, but it still floods my brain with the first response. Being an introvert, I wanted her to press the erase button, take it back, say it was a joke. But I knew in my heart it wasn't.
No, it's not a joke to crave human interaction. It's a mire of emotions when people respond and even when they don't respond to such questions. Allowing others to hold my emotions hostage with their acceptance or rejection of my friendship and company has led to many dark days.
Once I finished my own mild panic attack, I thought about it some more. All of the angst and fear suddenly turned to admiration. That ability to just put it out there for others to see and act on a need so quickly, - is brave!
Brave to show her need!
Brave for being honest and taking off the mask!
Brave for accepting what comes from it!
I wish I was that brave.
God has given this young lady a gift. She is able to speak her mind and accept the answers. She may not like them or be disappointed if nothing comes from the question, but she is at least willing to see if anyone else has that same need.
I have thought about both scenarios several times of the last couple of weeks. I thought of those who would judge youth, enthusiasm, and need for community as a weakness, even though they might be in the same situation. I thought of those in the pews around me with many, many years of life experiences to share but have limited means to socialize. I thought of my own journey, when it was dark and difficult and I was unable to speak up. I thought of the woman in the support group who is celebrating 40 years of commitment and how different her life might be if she had not found a group of people to share with.
A part of the sermon a couple of weeks ago was about Jesus' community and when He was baptized, even though He did not need to be. He was without sin, but He chose to be baptized for OUR sins. He was contrite for our sins - then and now. He knew that we would be affected by sin and would not repent for hateful thoughts and words that are said, for things we have done and for those we have left undone.
He didn't wait for us to be perfect before He forgave us. He knew we wouldn't be perfect, couldn't be perfect. We are by nature sinful and unclean. He loved us while we were yet sinners and still laid down His own life for us. This similar reflection of love is mirrored the support group of my friend. That group of people has loved her and supported her even when though she was broken and weak, year after year. She could be herself in the group and not be judged because they were all in the same situation. I feel like we should have more of these types of communities, where we can feel safe and vulnerable with each other and not have to hide or seek out others to join us. A place where we are all sinners and are not judged for our sins, but rather raise each other up, pray for each other and support on another in life.
I will admit that there was a time or two that morning that the thoughts that filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks were of God's own selflessness, especially when we sang, What is this Bread? The words in this hymn are so raw but so beautiful.
My sin has been covered with Jesus' blood. He died for me. He was contrite for me. His sins were forgiven for me. This is so very beautiful. This is worth sharing in my community.
Lord, please help my timid heart to be more open. You are the perfect example from which I can draw of strength and community sending your own disciples out to be fishers of men. You ask us to tell others of your Glory and to come to you with all things. Lord open my heart and my mouth so that I may do this. Amen.
