I can see and feel it coming. The trees are void of their brightly colored
fruit and the grass is littered with pieces and fragments of what once lived
generously in the trees. The daylight
hours are quickly decreasing and a raw chill fills the air. The animals are no longer frolicking and
singing in the wilderness. Instead, they
are hurriedly foraging and storing up food for the coming winter. Men dressed like their surroundings take to
the woods and lurk for unsuspecting deer.
The large oak tree that sits alongside the road is currently
barren of green life. Its branches still
reach high into the sky yet somewhat lopsided due to the nearby power
lines. Many a small creature has taken
refuge here in its neck and arms. Its
long standing is proven by the enormity of its trunk as I stand close and
attempt to embrace it. The bark is rough
alongside my cheek and my arms are full yet not long enough for my outstretched
fingers to interlock.
I am in awe of such a gift.
It has indeed weathered many storms and many seasons. Seasons of drought and attrition; seasons of
bitter cold and unbearable heat; insect attacks and suffocating exhaust fumes;
but the old tree stands tall and proud. Every
wind storm seems to break a few of the weaker limbs, but the tree is still
strong. Every spring it sprouts new life
and green leaves even more generous than the previous year, giving more color
every fall to the view outside of my windows.
My own exterior is not as tolerant of such seasons of life,
nor is my heart. God has blessed me with
strong emotions that tend to surface often.
I am easily wounded and tend to suffer in silence not willing to expose the
rawness of the fresh tear on my
soul. Anxiety and fear drive me to pray
frequently but my own stubbornness and pride will not allow me to share with
others. I want to spare others of my hurts
and sins and not burden them. I would
rather help someone else with their burdens and pray for them.
But God doesn’t want us to be alone. He wants us to have a community to share with,
which is why He created Eve for Adam. And
that means we need to share all things, not just the easy things, not just the
surface topics. So it is here, that I will
share with you, my heart. I genuinely
want to help others and pray for them.
This is how God made me and I am grateful for this. I also want to be able to be helped and to
ask for help. To know that it’s ok to open
my heart to someone and believe that it won’t be betrayed. This
has not always been easy for me, but I have to start somewhere and why not
here, in this place, where my heart is open, and I speak in truth?
Like the mighty oak tree outside my window, God is strong,
patient, and providing. He is the constant that I can go to with all
things and He WANTS me to. In this
season of my life, I am praying for many things, but mostly for patience. I know He has a plan for me, but I really
want to know what it is and I am not very patient. What are you praying for?
Lord,
May I be slow to anger and filled with love. I need help with patience and I cannot do it on my own. Please fill my heart with patience that I may wait for Your will to be done. Please fill my heart with understanding that I know how my words and actions affect others. Help me to follow the example you have set before me. Amen
