The Oak Tree

 I can see and feel it coming.  The trees are void of their brightly colored fruit and the grass is littered with pieces and fragments of what once lived generously in the trees.  The daylight hours are quickly decreasing and a raw chill fills the air.  The animals are no longer frolicking and singing in the wilderness.  Instead, they are hurriedly foraging and storing up food for the coming winter.  Men dressed like their surroundings take to the woods and lurk for unsuspecting deer. 

The large oak tree that sits alongside the road is currently barren of green life.  Its branches still reach high into the sky yet somewhat lopsided due to the nearby power lines.  Many a small creature has taken refuge here in its neck and arms.  Its long standing is proven by the enormity of its trunk as I stand close and attempt to embrace it.  The bark is rough alongside my cheek and my arms are full yet not long enough for my outstretched fingers to interlock.

I am in awe of such a gift.  It has indeed weathered many storms and many seasons.  Seasons of drought and attrition; seasons of bitter cold and unbearable heat; insect attacks and suffocating exhaust fumes; but the old tree stands tall and proud.  Every wind storm seems to break a few of the weaker limbs, but the tree is still strong.  Every spring it sprouts new life and green leaves even more generous than the previous year, giving more color every fall to the view outside of my windows.

My own exterior is not as tolerant of such seasons of life, nor is my heart.  God has blessed me with strong emotions that tend to surface often.  I am easily wounded and tend to suffer in silence not willing to expose the rawness of the fresh tear on my soul.  Anxiety and fear drive me to pray frequently but my own stubbornness and pride will not allow me to share with others.  I want to spare others of my hurts and sins and not burden them.  I would rather help someone else with their burdens and pray for them. 

But God doesn’t want us to be alone.  He wants us to have a community to share with, which is why He created Eve for Adam.  And that means we need to share all things, not just the easy things, not just the surface topics.   So it is here, that I will share with you, my heart.   I genuinely want to help others and pray for them.  This is how God made me and I am grateful for this.  I also want to be able to be helped and to ask for help.  To know that it’s ok to open my heart to someone and believe that it won’t be betrayed.    This has not always been easy for me, but I have to start somewhere and why not here, in this place, where my heart is open, and I speak in truth?

Like the mighty oak tree outside my window, God is strong, patient, and providing.   He is the constant that I can go to with all things and He WANTS me to.  In this season of my life, I am praying for many things, but mostly for patience.  I know He has a plan for me, but I really want to know what it is and I am not very patient.   What are you praying for?

 

 

 

Lord,

May I be slow to anger and filled with love.  I need help with patience and I cannot do it on my own.  Please fill my heart with patience that I may wait for Your will to be done.  Please fill my heart with understanding that I know how my words and actions affect others.  Help me to follow the example you have set before me.  Amen