Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
I used to think that stillness was the hardest part of this
verse. But now, I think that knowing who
God really is, is more difficult than being still. That may sound
off, but bear with me and let me explain.
God is God. Who else
could be so full of love and compassion?
Who else could send his only child, only son, to a death so cruel in
order to save the world? And not just
the world THEN, but the world to come! A
world that is so full of sin, wretchedness and filth. A world of people not even born yet?! Such a person does not exist, so it can only be
God!
No one could ever love as much, forgive as much, surrender
as much, have as much mercy, as God. His love is so real, so powerful that He can
lift a life from death. Love so clean
and pure that it bathed me in water that washed away my sin; my sin of
yesterday, today and tomorrow. Love so amazing that it lifts my soul from the
pits of Hell. Love as rich as blood and
flesh that continues to bring us to the cross and forgives what is unforgivable.
It could only BE God.
He is God of mercy and strength in our weakest, lowest hours. Mercy that is so unlimited, it is
divine. It is real and it is love. Mercy that empowers us to love Him in
return. Who else can continue to love
someone, forgive someone, so completely and fully that each time we ask, we are
forgiven and washed clean again in love and restored to that white as snow
state, only left to my own devices to return to dirt and filth?
That’s why I need God.
Always, I need Him. I cannot
function on my own. I have no strength
or love or ability without Him. I can do
nothing without Him. He gives me
everything and I cannot BE without Him.
And yet, time and again, I push Him away. Looking for the answer, looking for hope,
looking for reasons - why something is as it is. I think I know and I can solve it, look for
it, fix it own my own and I cannot. I
simply CANNOT.
He sends the Holy Spirit to me, even when I don’t ask and
guides me to the answer. The answer is
God. Give it to Him in thought and
prayer. Give Him the prayer, let him
solve it. Let Him deliver the
answer. Let Him be my strength, but let
Him do the work. Just be still and
listen. Listen to the One with the
answer.
Why is it more difficult for me to give everything back to
Him, when He gave me everything? For me,
it is because I feel unworthy to bask in this glory of God. I have allowed Satan to fill my head with
lies that I can do it on my own, that I am not enough for God, that God only serves
those who serve Him best, that I don’t deserve this. But when I read His word, I know those are untruths. I know that God loves ME, that I am who He
wants me to be, He has a plan for me and will do all things for my good. God does not know how to be mean. God is good and merciful and just and He
WANTS me to come to Him in ALL things.
It’s easier to be still now, to sit in His glory and just talk
to God about what’s on my mind and in my heart.
Because of my humanness, however, I have trouble being still for the
answer. But I can sit on my swing, in
the sun, face tilted toward heaven and feel His warmth and compassion and give
Him my heart. Give Him my love. Give it to God, the one who knows all. Loves all.
Is all. Now and forever. Amen
How do you spend time with God? How does God continue to amaze you? Please share your experiences with me in the comments below.
Angie, this is such an honest, lovely post. Your struggle in the stillness and the knowing, OH how I realte.
ReplyDeleteAnd then knowing- your words reminded me of what we DO know, of His solid love for us in Jesus.... and funny, that knowing? It makes me able to be still :)
Blessed by your words today. Thank you.
Emily