Goodbye for now...

 

I have to say goodbye this week to my Granny.  It’s a very hard thing to do.  The words will not come, but the tears and emotions flow easily.  The memories of our times spent together are overflowing my senses.  Sometimes they comfort me and other times, I just curl up into a ball and let them all out on my pillow.  But whatever the emotion, I know in my heart that Granny is happy now.  She is with Jesus and Grandpa.

 

Some of my favorite memories

My Granny was a very proud Southern Lady.  She used to get after us as little girls for not wearing stockings to church because young ladies shouldn’t have bare legs.   

 

She always dressed for the occasion, complete with earrings and lipstick.  When I was younger, it was a bright pink lipstick that left a smudge on my cheek that I would quickly wipe away.  Now I would love to have that pink stain my cheek.

 

She made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, but you couldn’t pin down her recipe, because it was always a pinch of this and a little of that.  She hasn’t made them in a while, but my mouth waters just thinking about them. 

 

When I was fairly young, she kept a candy dish on the TV in the living room, generally with the Brach’s flavored candies.  I would sneak one or two when I came in to use the rest room, which was often, because she had the best sweet tea, that we drank from Dixie cups!

 

Her character 

She will be missed but I am so glad that her sadness has ended.  I am blessed that she had a relationship with God and passed it down to her children and grandchildren so that I could grow up in a Christian home.  This is definitely the most precious gift she has ever given to me.  I can remember sitting in church on Sunday’s either directly in front of or right behind her and trying to act my very best.  Granny always thought that my sister and I were so polite and nice.  I didn’t want to disappoint her, even if I thought (knew) otherwise.

 

I think she has passed down some other things to me too.  Like her temperament; she was fairly reserved until she was mad, then you didn’t know what she was going to say.  She was stubborn but hated making decisions.   At the same time, she was kind and very polite, a sweet contradiction to her stubbornness and irritation.   But most of all, she loved children and they loved her.  And I can honestly say those same things about myself.

 

Some truths

Something that I cannot say about her, but I do know about myself, is that I am a crier.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and to see someone upset or distressed about losing a loved one will bring me quicker to tears than sneezing at pepper!  I cannot help it.  I know the Lord promised to be with us always, even unto death, but I will cry every time.  I know that we will be reunited in Heaven where He is preparing room for us, but right now, my Dad’s heart hurts, and I cannot stand it.  This is the first opportunity he has had to breathe in a while, and it’s painful without her.  Even though Granny is resting now, it’s also my Dad’s turn to rest and trust in the Lord that His will is being done.  It is Granny’s time to be with the Lord, no matter how much we are not ready to let her go.   We know these truths.  And yet, I cry.  Big sloppy, snotty crocodile tears.  And while it may not be lady like, it’s what I do.

 

Because of my relationship with the Lord, I know that death is only temporary, and someday, I will be reunited with Granny in heaven.   Until then, I will continue to praise the Lord for the gifts in my life, including my loved ones past and present, who journey with me along the way.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide and uphold us this week, so that we will continue to seek His truths and to rest and trust in Him.  He is our light and our salvation forever and ever.  Amen